Month: August 2012

A lot of things have been going through my mind lately. I feel like a failure. I’m 34 years old and have just about nothing to show for it.
My marriage failed, and it was completely my fault. I have friends, but they live their own lives and I feel like a burden to them at times. My family has never been anything but wonderful to me, yet I feel like a failure to them.
I’m not saying I am a failure, only that I feel like one. I’ve screwed up so much that my name should be changed to Phillips to avoid any confusion. My failure as a human has put me on this couch on a Saturday night completely alone, jobless, broke, no insurance, and dangerously high blood pressure.
I don’t know where to turn on a daily basis. I pray, I try to keep my head up but it isn’t always easy when I don’t know how I make it from day to day.
I’m not asking for pity, I’m where I am today because of my own actions or lack thereof. If you feel sorry you can pray for me, we all need prayer.

What makes each of us tick? I have many different interests.  Listening to music and podcasts, writing, reading, exercising, watching television and movies.  I could list other things, but you get the idea.  I have these interests because they relax me and appeal to my better nature.

It is those interests that have gotten me through the past few months.  I have tried to keep my head up and be positive but it hasn’t always been easy.  I’m not the fastest reader and I’m probably a third-rate writer.  That’s okay, I used to be an even slower reader and a fifth-rate writer.  Progress is just a matter of moving forward.

I move forward every day.